Ban Hammer [NEWSPAPER] Edition #1

Welcome to my brand new trollpaper. Bringing you the latest development from inside the Illuminate itself! I'll try to make this as frequently as possible, no promise though. Contributor are welcomed to my secret lair PM me for coordinates.

Many of you might say that I am a member of the Illuminate and I am just using this newspaper to spread our ideology, well you're right. This is nothing but propaganda, bow before me my minions!

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Today we talk about the many faces of Illuminate, the true purpose of the Illuminati and its long term goals.

The Illuminati was founded by 6 wise man and 2 two young brothers a long time ago with the ultimate goal of subjugating humanity to further their own agenda.

The original founders of the Illuminati include:

Status	Name	Member Since	Suspected date of disappearance
Terminated	Cardinal	???	???
Terminated	specter	???	???
Kidnapped	Gigglin	???	???
Terminated	n00less cluebie	???	???
Terminated	HeyI	???	???
Kidnapped	King Cow	???	???

What happened to the 2 brothers remains a mystery but legend has it after the assassination of the last founder of the Illuminati, Cardinal, a coup by the newer member forced the brothers into hiding where they now wait for the day when they rightful claim their place as supreme leader of humanity.

As I was saying the coup was masterminded by non other than the sificvoid and Guest14502. The 2 great leaders of the revolution ousted the former dictators and established a fascist rule along with their followers:

Status	Name	Member Since	Suspected date of disappearance
Unknown	sificvoid	26/01/2011	-
Unknown	Guest14502	26/01/2011	-
Kidnapped	Otokonoko	26/04/2011	04/03/2012
Exiled	Pinheiro	06/05/2011	11/06/2015
Terminated	takeanap_oleon	19/09/2011	04/03/2012
Cryogenically Frozen	Caulerpa	19/09/2011	-
Alive	Hugosch	06/10/2011	-
Cloned	Acquiesce	15/01/2012	20/05/2015
Terminated	MajorKill	15/01/2012	08/03/2013
Terminated	GlennMiller	20/04/2012	05/02/2015
Terminated	PANTHA_1	20/04/2012	23/01/2013
Assassinated	Tzeentch	07/08/2012	05/10/2012

It was not long before the 2nd generation of the Illuminate fell to corruption. Among the ashes a new leader rose to collect the pieces of the former organization and restore it to its former glory... a leader who only goes by the name of VRIL. VRIL established himself as a tyrannical dictator. He used the power of the organization to strike fear in the eyes of his enemy. His followers were only there to give the public a false sense of security.

Status	Name	Member Since	Suspected date of disappearance
Missing In Action	VRIL	13/09/2012	04/02/2015
Undercover	Safari	24/10/2012	-
Undercover	Pulse	12/11/2012	-
Cloned	bargain	07/01/2013	13/05/2015
Terminated	Mathdino	08/01/2013	09/07/2014
Alive	Columna Durruti	13/05/2013	-
Alive	Meester	13/05/2013	-
Exiled	Spart	14/05/2013	14/05/2014
Terminated	tophat	01/10/2013	05/02/2014
Infiltrating Government Agency	Cthulhu	02/10/2013	-
Infiltrating Government Agency	Chess	24/03/2014	-
Alive	Desu	24/03/2014	-
Alive	BertanK	06/10/2014	-
Undercover	deviL	06/10/2014	-
Undercover	brianwl	15/05/2015	-
Alive	Laochra	27/05/2015	-
Alive	Madara	27/05/2015	-
Assassinated	e Mare	08/08/2015	05/01/2016

Although the founder of the third generation is lost the organization still stands, with a new leader in power. Now with increased activity we aim to take over the world through the sale of poisoned cupcakes aka "premium". That is all I can seed to you for today apparently Columna Durruti does not like it when I use his computer to gather information.

Message Terminated.

Love it

Competing with the mag eh, bring it noob!

time to make sultan write illuminati stories in scifi section

So all the illuminati stories are true... should have known! Time to apply!

The player hammer mught have a heart attack when he reads the title

Great Thread!

- .... .. ... / .. ... / .--- ..- ... - / .- / -.. .. ... ... ..- .- ... .. --- -. / - --- / - .... . / -.-. .-. --- .-- .-.-.-

.-. . .- .-.. / ..-. --- ..- -. -.. . .-. / --- ..-. / .. .-.. .-.. ..- -- .. -. .- - .. -.-. / .. ... / .- -- --- -. --. / ..- ...

- .... . -.-- / -. . ...- . .-. / .-.. . ..-. -

- .... . -.-- / .- .-. . -. .----. - / -- --- -.. ...

- .... . -.-- / -.-. --- -. - .-. --- .-.. / ..- ...

Oh shoots tried to make one of theses fun guns with dots dash and theses things... didn't worked apparently.

...why is this guy still a moderator? Should the AtWar community not have a slightly higher standard of professionalism from its moderators?

نوشتع شده توسط International, 06.01.2016 at 07:50

...why is this guy still a moderator? Should the AtWar community not have a slightly higher standard of professionalism from its moderators?

I ain't paid to be professional. In fact I ain't paid at all. This is completely voluntary. I am entitled to troll the community just as much as Nero is entitled to troll the community. I just have more tools to go about doing it.

King cow = cowcow_deleted_deleted_deleted_deleted_deleted ?

nevermind... i found king cow

نوشتع شده توسط International, 06.01.2016 at 07:50

...why is this guy still a moderator? Should the AtWar community not have a slightly higher standard of professionalism from its moderators?

As one of the most active moderators who is covering plenty of moderating areas (such as taking care about awards, for example), who is one of the rare mods who still have contributing ideas and suggestions (some of which were down because of the rest of community who are lazy as fuck and expect all served), who is still hosting tournaments, who is not tainted by community cuz his actions and penalties are proper and in accordance with rules, who is making some funny relaxing threads for this unrelaxed and tense community, I really see your comment as highly irrelevant.

Either you don't know Meester enough, either you have wrong beliefs, but I expected at least from you some more mature comment (as you are in off-topic discussions).

Moderators are here to control and improve community in various ways, and seems it is best like this, in funny and relaxing way.
I consider this thread as professionalism, when certain person knows what exactly community needs.

Also, moderators are not robots with serious face who live in darkness of this cruel world, they are social people same as you and me and have a right on fun.
Social sites (this game) are connecting us, so please don't go for killing even this little cheerful themes, which are really needed here.

نوشتع شده توسط International, 06.01.2016 at 07:50

...why is this guy still a moderator? Should the AtWar community not have a slightly higher standard of professionalism from its moderators?

ps support we should definitely ban hammer.

Where is the almighty leader of the new illuminate, Sun Tzu?

نوشتع شده توسط Ghostface, 06.01.2016 at 13:49

نوشتع شده توسط PleaseMe, 06.01.2016 at 13:47

Where is the almighty leader of the new illuminate, Sun Tzu?

more importantly where is "nobody"

You should delete this post or i cant guarantee your safety

edit:
oh my 9/11 post

نوشتع شده توسط Ghostface, 06.01.2016 at 13:49

نوشتع شده توسط PleaseMe, 06.01.2016 at 13:47

Where is the almighty leader of the new illuminate, Sun Tzu?

more importantly where is zizou

Sun Tzu > Tzu > Tzi Zu > Zi Zu > Zizu > Zizou

Illuminati confirmed

نوشتع شده توسط Acquiesce, 06.01.2016 at 16:03

Sun Tzu > Tzu > Tzi Zu > Zi Zu > Zizu > Zizou

Illuminati confirmed

Actually... your deduction is so clever... so astonishing... you must be the illuminati!

نوشتع شده توسط International, 06.01.2016 at 07:50

...why is this guy still a moderator? Should the AtWar community not have a slightly higher standard of professionalism from its moderators?

and admins! oh shit,.. wait a minute

نوشتع شده توسط Meester, 06.01.2016 at 07:57

I ain't paid to be professional. In fact I ain't paid at all. This is completely voluntary. I am entitled to troll the community just as much as Nero is entitled to troll the community. I just have more tools to go about doing it.

If your objective is to troll the community, perhaps the role of moderator is not right for you.

Volunteer work or not, perhaps moderators who hold the power of mute-and-ban over the player-base shouldn't be trolling about it.

Just perhaps.

نوشتع شده توسط International, 06.01.2016 at 19:46

نوشتع شده توسط Meester, 06.01.2016 at 07:57

I ain't paid to be professional. In fact I ain't paid at all. This is completely voluntary. I am entitled to troll the community just as much as Nero is entitled to troll the community. I just have more tools to go about doing it.

If your objective is to troll the community, perhaps the role of moderator is not right for you.

Volunteer work or not, perhaps moderators who hold the power of mute-and-ban over the player-base shouldn't be trolling about it.

Just perhaps.

Give him a break, I believe Meester to be highly intelligent and mature fellow, who does a lot of good work for atWar - unpaid. At the very least he is allowed to create a joke forum page. That aside, although annoying these posts are useful in one way because there are a lot of 'niche' words contained in the article therefore intrinsically beneficial to our Google rank.

نوشتع شده توسط International, 06.01.2016 at 19:46

If your objective is to troll the community, perhaps the role of moderator is not right for you.

Volunteer work or not, perhaps moderators who hold the power of mute-and-ban over the player-base shouldn't be trolling about it.

Just perhaps.

Think about it. This topic might seem like a troll article to you but to others this could be a list of every moderator who ever existed along with the date they were promoted and the date they retired. Its really about how you look at it.

نوشتع شده توسط Croat, 06.01.2016 at 08:54

نوشتع شده توسط International, 06.01.2016 at 07:50

...why is this guy still a moderator? Should the AtWar community not have a slightly higher standard of professionalism from its moderators?

As one of the most active moderators who is covering plenty of moderating areas (such as taking care about awards, for example), who is one of the rare mods who still have contributing ideas and suggestions (some of which were down because of the rest of community who are lazy as fuck and expect all served), who is still hosting tournaments, who is not tainted by community cuz his actions and penalties are proper and in accordance with rules, who is making some funny relaxing threads for this unrelaxed and tense community, I really see your comment as highly irrelevant.

Either you don't know Meester enough, either you have wrong beliefs, but I expected at least from you some more mature comment (as you are in off-topic discussions).

Moderators are here to control and improve community in various ways, and seems it is best like this, in funny and relaxing way.
I consider this thread as professionalism, when certain person knows what exactly community needs.

Also, moderators are not robots with serious face who live in darkness of this cruel world, they are social people same as you and me and have a right on fun.
Social sites (this game) are connecting us, so please don't go for killing even this little cheerful themes, which are really needed here.

Buttlick is strong.

نوشتع شده توسط Waffel, 07.01.2016 at 09:56

نوشتع شده توسط Croat, 06.01.2016 at 08:54

نوشتع شده توسط International, 06.01.2016 at 07:50

...why is this guy still a moderator? Should the AtWar community not have a slightly higher standard of professionalism from its moderators?

As one of the most active moderators who is covering plenty of moderating areas (such as taking care about awards, for example), who is one of the rare mods who still have contributing ideas and suggestions (some of which were down because of the rest of community who are lazy as fuck and expect all served), who is still hosting tournaments, who is not tainted by community cuz his actions and penalties are proper and in accordance with rules, who is making some funny relaxing threads for this unrelaxed and tense community, I really see your comment as highly irrelevant.

Either you don't know Meester enough, either you have wrong beliefs, but I expected at least from you some more mature comment (as you are in off-topic discussions).

Moderators are here to control and improve community in various ways, and seems it is best like this, in funny and relaxing way.
I consider this thread as professionalism, when certain person knows what exactly community needs.

Also, moderators are not robots with serious face who live in darkness of this cruel world, they are social people same as you and me and have a right on fun.
Social sites (this game) are connecting us, so please don't go for killing even this little cheerful themes, which are really needed here.

Buttlick is strong.

Well, he needs the aproval of mods if it comes at him being nominated as next mod (which seriously croat,it will never happen so drop it)

نوشتع شده توسط International, 06.01.2016 at 19:46

LOL you did it again, you screwed an entire joke thread XD
We really need to work on that sense of humor of yours mate! It hasn't progressed at all in all these months!

نوشتع شده توسط Waffel, 07.01.2016 at 12:00

I mean, I already thought that you were chubby or atleast had some sick fetish, but you search for nasty things on the internet to be honest.

Naahhh, I am not even close to be chubby, I just typed 'fat gypsy' just because it is the closest description for your new buddy.
As for my fetishes, I don't have them, maybe I like Lelu Love's feet , but I don't consider that as fetish since I don't care about it, to be honest.

Deleted all obscene material, that is no way appropriate considering minors play this game.

نوشتع شده توسط Meester, 06.01.2016 at 22:51

نوشتع شده توسط International, 06.01.2016 at 19:46

If your objective is to troll the community, perhaps the role of moderator is not right for you.

Volunteer work or not, perhaps moderators who hold the power of mute-and-ban over the player-base shouldn't be trolling about it.

Just perhaps.

Think about it. This topic might seem like a troll article to you but to others this could be a list of every moderator who ever existed along with the date they were promoted and the date they retired. Its really about how you look at it.

It was late when I read the post initially, after re-reading, yes the post is informative and made in a creative way.

نوشتع شده توسط Meester, 06.01.2016 at 03:53

...apparently Columna Durruti does not like it when I use his computer to gather information.

Definetly not when you are publishing this hokus-pokus about some fantasy organization. Shame on you for spreading these lies.

It is an entertainin thread with informative information which is wonderful. But the dates of takeanap_oleon, Mathdino, bargain, tophats, Cthulhu, Laochra, Madara and few more are incorrect.